IPJ, an oldie but a goodie:
The English guy lives near Belves in the Dordogne and at the time he was stopped he was as pissed as a fart…
The gendarme signalled him to wind down the window then asked him if he has been drinking.
With a slurring speech the English guy replies: ‘Yes, this morning I was at my (hic)..daughter’s wedding, and as I don’t like church much I went to the cafe opposite and had several beers.’
Then during the wedding banquet I seem to remember downing three great bottles of wine; (hic)… a Corbieres, a Minervois and (hic) ..a Faugeres.’
‘Then to finish off during the celebrations…. and (hic) during the evening …me and my mate downed two bottles of Johnny Walker Black Label.’
Getting impatient the gendarme warned him; ‘Do you understand I’m a policeman and have stopped you for an alcohol test?’
The Englishman replied; ‘Do you understand that I’m English, like my car, and that my wife is sitting in the other seat at the wheel?’