Anne Billson, whoever she is, wrote this about Johnny Depp:
Not long ago, Depp seemed the very model of a thinking person’s film star – a bit quirky, more like an old-fashioned rock musician than a movie star ironed flat by the PR machine.
OK but then she defined “thinking person’s film star” as:
He trashed hotel rooms, got into punch-ups with paparazzi, hung out with funky chicks like Winona Ryder and Kate Moss, accrued tattoos, played guitar, and guested on The Fast Show.
What, she means a lowlife? So a lowlife is a “thinking person’s filmstar”, eh? And what sort of “thinking” exactly is that, Anne? Good thinking?
He was beautiful. Maybe too beautiful. (He seems to have spent his life trying to cover up his flawlessness with dodgy facial hair.)
Depp? Beautiful? We obviously have entirely different criteria for what we call beautiful. Let’s face it – by your own admission, he was a scruff and noseboner, another Brand.
Now I’m no expert on the “beauty” of men but I’d imagine someone like Colin Farrell you might lump in that category or some of the leading men of yesteryear – Alain Delon? James Dean? But Depp?
There’s obviously something I’m missing here.
Because I think Depp is at his best when he’s reacting rather than “acting.”
So, not a good actor, eh? OK, perfectly willing to say I’ve misjudged the man as an actor. What do commenters say?
# ‘A string of tedious and indulgent performances from Johnny Depp’ Doesn’t that sum up his entire over-rated career?…
But there’s a word of caution about being negative about the little genius:
# Hatchet jobs where geniuses are supposedly carved up by mediocrities.
That’s fair comment if Depp is a genius and I’m a mediocrity. I fear the former is not the case though:
# Look, the bloke is an actor. He’s made some good movies and some mediocre ones.
What does a lady say, as the ladies seem to like him?
# I don’t see that anything “went wrong”, I always thought he was an over-rated egotist.
Hmmmm. What do the young say? After all, he appeals to the young and women, does he not?
How this guy keeps winning People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” I’ll never know. He wears more flannel than I did in 1994 and it seems like it’s been that long since he last stepped foot in a shower.
Look, it’s Johnny Depp! He’s wearing heavy makeup, a wig and a Victorian dandy’s outfit! Oh my god, he’s talented! How did he manage to look like that! What an amazing actor! I’m totally blown away, and he hasn’t even opened his mouth yet! Wait, here it comes: he’s…. doing… an accent!! It’s a British accent, too! Holy shit.
Or on one forum:
How ‘seriously good looking’ is Johnny Depp? With Johnny Depp I just can’t see it. He’s only about 5 feet 4, he has no personality. He’s nearly 50. Yet some chicks young enough to be his granddaughter look at him as if he’s a hunk.
Hmmmm, well you know – not so sure there about that last part – females have some strange ideas – some even like me so there’s no accounting for taste.
Look, in my eyes, he’s just an actor who apparently did one or two good films in the 90s, he’s up himself, is a scruff and unhygienic. If females like a short man of uncertain personal habits, then there’s hope for short men yet. Let’s look at his Wiki entry and see if he’s been a faithful husband and his politics are teapartyish – that would redeem him somewhat.
Right – puts it about, unfaithful, paternity issues, alleged assault and battery of a woman [he didn't intervene I think], atheist [natch], covered in tatts. That last one disqualifies him immediately – another Cheryl Cole.
Tatts are something only certain people can get away with – a wharfy [longshoreman], Sean Connery, Popeye. He-men can get away with the occasional tatt. A smaller man, such as Depp or myself – nope, no can do. Looks silly. Looks small man trying to be big man. I’m a few inches taller than Depp but even so, it looks forced.
And he’s yet another, like Warren, trying to claim native ancestry for political reasons – seems like a Democrat.
OK, got the idea.
Why choose Depp for the post? Well, it came out in an article in the MSM and though there are so many in Hollywood who are overrated and we hardly waste our time blogging on them, why with Depp?
With him, it’s this “sexy” thing which he quite clearly is not, at least a man can’t see it. To be fair, that’s what his admirers say – he doesn’t say it and he tries to cover his features – or so it seems.
Another thing in his favour is that he’s controversial and that isn’t in itself a bad thing, would you say?
Oo, yuk, he just kissed a man – uggggh. And the chat show host allowed it? And he was on that Ellen Degenerate’s show too.
Obviously I’m not from this “modern” era, am I? I have certain ideas of what men do and don’t do. Best I just leave this now.