Normally a topic to steer clear of, there are moments on this blog where it’s been touched on. The issue is Cleese’s marriage to a young filly. At least it’s not another short man with a huge woman towering over him.
There are those men who have a certain, well, youthful attitude and that can suck in someone younger who perhaps doesn’t, er, discern other aspects of him which really have aged. Let me put it that way. Not just aged but shrivelled up a little too, not to put too fine a point on it.
I’ve heard the nay-sayers who think 30 years is outrageous as an age difference, I’ve heard people say it’s all up to the two people. The truth might be somewhere inbetween.
A man over 50 needs to think very carefully about her need for children. If she’s within child-bearing range [until about 39/40], then she’s most likely going to want that with the man of her life, if she has no children already and even if she does. A mate of mine was careful that his woman was late 30s and he told me many times with my 20s girl that it was a nice dream on both parts but he couldn’t see it.
He was right. I’d look into her eyes to discuss things at times and there was nothing in there enough on my wavelength to reach any meaningful conclusion. It wasn’t a matter of me not being interested in eye-candy and she was certainly far more than that – she was one bright cookie – but so many men out there saw her as a prize, a scalp, that it was an uphill battle the whole time, especially as I’m not the most exciting person on earth and some of these men were not only loaded but they had that Italian or French charm.
The 20s, despite all the well done things those in their 20s say and do, causing everyone to admire them, is still a largely shallow time, dealing, as Agatha Christie put it, in “extrinsics”. I’d go to a party and do something crazy like wear three watches or have the hat on at a strange angle and it was all, ‘Oh wow,” or I’d make some outrageous remark and it was all, “Oh wow,” again but in the end, it was about postulating, play-acting, not being real.
Now that’s fair enough. Take a baby and its depth of conversation and take an old curmudgeon, then place these women on that continuum somewhere and how could one expect from someone in her 20s anything but something in the 20s? That then gets onto something cringeworthy I saw and changed my attitude forever. She and I were with her gf who was waiting to be collected by her new man.
The most embarrassing thing was that when he arrived, he was about my age and yet was dressed in what he imagined was what yoof dressed in and his mannerisms were out of all synch with his obvious age. Yuk and my gf and I spoke of it in the car. Needless to say, those other two did not pursue the matter after that day.
The final killer for such things is that she moves at a different pace. 40 and 70 might work if the 70 is in good nick and 40 is certainly old enough to be past all that youthful shallowness, 30 and 60 is pushing it, 20 and 50 I’d say is out of the ballpark. And regarding her having children, a man over 50 is not going to do justice to that kid.
And the energy! Terry Jones is right. If we stay in nick at our age, we can get moving there at a fair old cantering pace for some time, maybe even for a few hours but then we need to sit down and rest. We may even need to take our tablets and change the diaper.
Not really a good idea, people. Nice to have someone scrumptious to the eyes and touch going about with you but in the end, it’s not satisfying enough for either party.
Filed under: Society & human issues