I always thought I was special
If a baby is all take, take, take and an adult parent is mainly give, give, give, then it’s logical that a changeover point will be reached in the early 20s, sometimes later and much of that is to do with having children.
Add to that the infantilization of society and the matriarchal bringing up of so many boys today by single mothers, unbalanced by any male influence of note, especially an authoritative male influence and there’s a recipe for disaster. That’s the light in which I see the bleating of this young man, which Chuckles has little sympathy for and I see where he’s coming from.
In a post at OoL, I mentioned that our society had always been a bit brutal in the past but now it was artificially wimpish, which in a boy is really a crime of the people inducing it.
Case in point – yesterday, in the supermarket, there was a toddler in pink, a girl, who kept walking between me and the shelf and that was OK, the mother called her over using a male name. Wha?! She did it again and the toddler was certainly skipping about as a girl would but she now referred to him as him. I made no comment, not wanting to get into it but it appalled me.
She was about 16, the mother and if it was a boy, she was deliberately, in order to follow the PC narrative, bringing him up effeminately. Just what chance was she giving him to become a man? Not only that, he [she?], the toddler, was in very girlish gear, the locks were girlish, everything was girlish.
And there was no male, the child’s father, to tell the mother to cease that insanity immediately.
I’m still hoping it actually was a girl because if it was a boy, I think the mother should be reported for abuse. And this one below, who fed chilli powder to a baby to punish him. A teenage girl might do that, not a mother. Look at the face of the girl – what sort of horror Chuckies and Chuckesses are now reaching adulthood because of a bloody PC narrative?
This is crime against humanity, crime against nature.
And so to the young man who began this post:
As a child of the 90s I was raised on a steady diet of Disney movies and positive reinforcement. I grew up in a house where abundant praise was given for completion of the most mundane of tasks. Failures were justified and assigned an appropriate cause that absolved me of any wrongdoing.
In school phrases like “a truly gifted writer” or “amazing insight” would be scribed upon my homework. I had my picture books “published” in the school library. Everyone told me I would be a best seller. Everyone said I would be loved by all.
I’m going to use the word “crime” again. There’s no other word for it. This is what all these people, from teachers to this girl above here are perpetrating.
Under the guise of caring and nurturing, they are doing exactly the opposite. When men and boys go wrong, go out of control, they can eventually be reined in – the Krays, Al Capone. When women and girls go wrong, go out of control, they destroy society.
Women have always been the cornerstone and have been expected to act as that cornerstone. Look at that girl in the pic again. That’s not a mother – that’s a monster. That’s what that baby is looking upon – a pitiless monster. God help the child and all others now subject to such people.
The solution is obvious but equally obviously, no one wishes to hear it except a section of the blogosphere, it seems, the remaining rump of sane values and society functioning as it should.
Filed under: Chuckles, History & Culture, Society & human issues
James,
I see your point, but there are certainly worse “abuses” that parents could inflict, don’t you think?
Shaming a child is just as damaging as lack of structure/discipline…even moreso.
I believe we once discussed here the importance of striving for balance.
The “I love you, but not what you’re doing, and here are the consequences to others and yourself.”
As for when to approach others’ parents, I believe these should be the “checkpoints”:
CHECKPOINT ONE: Is the child in danger, in some way?
If the answer is “Yes”, approach the parent or the proper authorities. If “No”, move on to…
CHECKPOINT TWO: 2) Do you actually have children yourself, understanding the difficulties, especially if they don’t have the same support system you’ve received, allowing them different types of mistakes than you’ve made in parenting?
If the answer is “Yes”, move on to…
CHECKPOINT THREE: 3) Is the child’s behavior preventing you/others from completing your task or hurting you/others in some way?
If the answer is “Yes”, definitely approach the parent.
However, if your answer was “No” to all 3 questions?
Then mind your business, you’re being judgmental on a subject you know nothing about
But there are certainly worse “abuses” that parents could inflict, don’t you think?
Worse than killing a toddler with curry powder? Well yes, she could have flayed him alive, I suppose.
If you mean the young man – no there are not because it is the subtlety of it and the ocrrosive effect on society.
If you mean the boy brought up as a girl – that is a crime, pure and simple.
Lol – well, of course I didn’t mean the chili powder incident, I meant the other two – sorry I wasn’t more specific
Of course, the chili powder incident is abusive and frightening – but that’s actually an “old-school” wives’ trick. I agree with you that society is degrading morally, partially as a result of poor parenting – just not using the chili powder trick as as evidence, considering it’s actually old school.
And I haven’t been to OoL today and didn’t see what became of the man’s life who received “too much praise”?
As for the girl raising her boy as a girl, that’s clearly going to leave some gender confusion, agreed.
However, look at all the Little Lord Fauntleroy’s we had at the turn of the century and how all of our grandfather’s wore christening/dress-gowns until age 2, in old photos – and most of them turned out all right
The more concerning thing to me would be that the mother clearly wishes she had a girl instead – how that will affect their bond and the acceptance of the child.
I now realise how lucky I was to have grown up on a farm in Central Africa, driving a tractor and doing a hard day’s work from when I was old enough to reach the tractor pedals. I can’t remember when I got my .22 rifle but I can recall clearly when I got my first real rifle, a .375. I was fourteen years old. I also remember clearly being offered my first beer by my father. We were sitting on the verandah after completing the maize harvest only a few hours before the first rains came in. I was fifteen and was being treated like an equal. I was also expected to behave like an equal.
At sixteen I went to boarding school, 200 miles from home, to do my ‘A’ levels. It was a boys only school with a mix of boarders and day-scholars. The day-scholar bully found that he was no match for the 6th Form boarders, most of whom, like me. were farm-raised. After he’d had his arse kicked a few times (one boarder actually peed on him) the bully went quiet.
I took my driving licence test on my 17th birthday and passed. I purchased my first car the same day. It was a 1956 R/H drive Canadian-built Ford station wagon, dirt cheap. The only draw-back was the fact that the V8 engine was in bits in a variety of boxes. Got it running sweetly in two weeks! Four times a year for the next three years I drove the car to Cape Town where I went to University. That was two thousand miles away with post-UDI Rhodesia in between where I lived and where I wanted to go. There was a rather nasty bush war going on at the time so driving in an armed convoy for parts of the journey was necessary. Seeing the burned-out trucks on some stretches of road was a sphincter-tightening experience!
As I stated at the beginning, I was very lucky to have grown up in a society where I was expected to grow up!
This issue is much deeper and you need to get back to the roots of the cause…
For example one of those roots is why is the Father absent…
Exactly, Cherie but that would have broadened the scope of the post too far. It brings in the failure of women under the influence of feminism plus the way the state is treating men and women separately – encouraging women to be promiscuous and undervalue men, supporting them in going it alone, also letting men off the hook except to bash them in divorces, ruining the job market so that men become layabouts instead of working, it’s the loss of the Judaeo-Christian tradition which bound men to a marriage for their nooky – it is indeed much deeper.
It’s porn down to a young age, the sexualization of children, abetted by leftist teachers and irresponsible parents, the overall infantilization of society, removing discretion and the state intruding in people’s lives after creating examples of bad parents where the state needs to step in, of mentoring programmes, of the World Core Curriculum and similar teaching the same old narrative.
There is also the issue of men leaving their wives for another woman or because they prefer the life of a bachelor.
The wives in this case are not feminist, they are family oriented and have been let down.
Yes unfortunately that sort of thing does still go on.
And that is what the modern woman is doing too – thinking the man is surplus to requirements or on any little pretext she goes it alone, supported by the state.
Hence all the broken marriages. 70% of divorces instigated by the woman. And the state is not even interested in coercing the man to stay. As for stay at home wives – well you’ve seen Cameron’s moves and women asking doesn’t he want mums in families any more?
Yes, it’s all part of it, Cherie.
James, I was a single mother…and certainly not by choice.
I really wanted the house and the white picket fence, to cook and care for my family – but he didn’t want those things, he wasn’t ready.
To try to control him into wanting those same family things that I did would’ve been the most “feminist” thing I’d ever done.
If I truly loved him, I had to let go, let him be who he was and grow up in his own time, because ultimately, you can’t control the people around you, you can only control yourself.
Was it a mistake and poor judgment on my part?
Yes, in the sense that we didn’t plan it – and I regret how hard my daughter and I had to struggle and many of the hurt feelings she initially had by her father – but he eventually came round to be there for her, she is lucky
But “No” in the sense that my daughter has enriched my life in a way that nothing else has ever done and I don’t regret a moment of my time with her:)
A man leaving his wife for a younger woman? In my 68 years, I have never known such a man. 70% of divorces are initiated by women (give or take a few %age points) in most anglophile countries, and of the remaining 30% it is skewed toward a ‘joint decision’ – which generally means that he goes along with her demand so as to not be screwed as badly as he would be if he objected.
Why is the father absent? The Judge ‘made it so’/ the false allegation AVO made it so that he could not step foot on the street where his children live/his bedsit is too small to house his children and they quite reasonably prefer their bedooms in the nice semi-detached that he paid for that now is wholly in his ex-wife’s name. Take your pick.
Chrysalis – which is roughly what Cherie was saying too.
Amfortas – that is also so – I’ve seen it so many times.
Moving this conversation on in a different direction it would be interesting to know the whys behind the statistics.
Why did 70% of ladies file for divorce and conversely why did 30% of gentlemen file for divorce?
Possibly the subject for another blog post?
Where did you get the “30% men file for divorce” from, Cherry? In Oz, the figure I have is 8%. That 30 is just the remainder from 70. As I said before, the skew is ‘joint decision’.
Chrysalis: I am sure most single mums would have a reason they consider adequate. It is not single mums that I sit in judegement upon, but the ‘system’ which is geared toward condemnation of men and the punitive aspect of ‘no-fault’ divorce which simply assumes male fault anyway.
Foe the unmarrieds, I have some sympathy with the feminist mantra of men ‘keeping their zippers up’ and add that women should keep their knickers up too.
It was explained why the women filed in the main – aspirations. The men – ah now there’s an interesting study. Possibly for the infidelity which follows aspirations.
30% of the divorced men did not file for divorce. In Oz it is around 8%. ‘Joint’ accounts for most of the balance against the 70% wife-filing.
As for ‘infidelity’ and the ubiquitous older man casting off his wife for a younger woman, look to the role women play. A man cannot be unfaithful all by himself in a broom cupboard. The ‘younger woman’, should she really exist, should leave other women’s husbands alone, shirley? For every unfaithful/adulterous husband, there is an adulterous woman, single or married.
Knew it was something like that.
As a more detailed answer on this one, there are any number of sites listing the reasons women divorce – harder to find out about the men. I know my own reasons why I would but one site wrote:
Men file for divorce when they are stuck with a spouse who is too obsessive and a control freak and who is always complaining about their behaviour in front of others and frequently insulting them.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/852600
Inability to conceive, sexual coldness and infidelity were also cited.
I think the major issues for women used to cite included lack of respect, abuse, bad habits, loss of earning power and infidelity. Lack of warmth came in there too. Lovingness and caring in other words.
The modern woman now goes for variety for the sake of it – the grass is always greener. She imagines most men are unfaithful and she wants her shot at it too. It then becomes addictive and she can’t commit in the end.
Amfortas – Yes, I’ve seen your instances as well, the court system unfairly siding with the mothers while many good fathers being shut out.
And worse, sometimes it all comes down to who has the most money or the best lawyer, and I’ve seen that happen to BOTH genders.
I’ve also seen women threaten not giving the father his visitation if he doesn’t do something SHE wants, which I think is horrible.
In the end, it’s not ABOUT her, or even about him – it’s about what’s best for the child, yes?
Having said that, we all could give instances from both genders as to supreme selfishness – so I think it’s a mistake to make this a gender issue.
Our HUMAN society has unfortunately become “Equal Opportunity for Selfishishness, and I don’t think we can scapegoat one gender, race or group for that.
Thanks for allowing my comments, James
Where did you get the “30% men file for divorce” from, Cherry?
I am sorry I misunderstood what the 30% represented.
A man cannot be unfaithful all by himself in a broom cupboard.
That is where I was going with my first comment, but in my case I was saying you can’t lay all the blame on the woman.
Moving onto the reasons.
The legal reasons for divorce in the UK are the following:
Adultery
Unreasonable behavior
Desertion
Two years separation (with consent)
Five years separation (without consent)
To me that suggest why the stats are the way they are.
The modern woman now goes for variety for the sake of it – the grass is always greener. She imagines most men are unfaithful and she wants her shot at it too. It then becomes addictive and she can’t commit in the end.
That doesn’t back up the statistics you have quoted. For example she wouldn’t be able to file for divorce on the grounds of adultery or desertion. Amfortas says the 30% is consensual because the man wants an easy life so that would take out the option of 5 years without consent.
I will add that I do think the law is currently set up wrongly in favour of the female, it was done that way to take into account the fact that women used to stay at home and if the husband left they had no means of funding themselves. I think the law should be changed so that individual circumstances should be taken into account. The times have changed and these issues are more complicated.