nourishing obscurity

Two things cropped up about the same time.  One was this egocentric article by someone, obviously young, on the merits or otherwise of travelling with your life partner and the second was Skype.

When you travel, you have different focuses, different aspirations, different ideas and her idea of what she wants to do can be radically different to yours.  My ex-gf’s idea was to cram the maximum number of dos [as in "done this, done that"] into the short space of time.  My idea was to relax by the pool, take a drive into the countryside and actually have a break from stress.

It has to be admitted though that there are two major pluses to having your girl along with you – firstly, she’ll make you do things you might not have done and this happened everywhere we went and not only that, she chose well, not to bankrupt me but to conserve as much as poss in order to take in some other excursion.  The second plus is that you’ll dine better and people all round like a couple better than a lone man.  The places I took her to dine or the night excursions we went on would never had happened if I’d been alone and we definitely attracted far more attention together, out of all proportion to what one would expect, than each of us as individuals.  We were talked about; I never was.

Lone travel can never replace that chemistry of two people who know each other through and through and in an atmosphere of gallantry from the commercial people you encounter, tailoring their service to the couple, making them feel special, your own gallantry comes out more than perhaps back at home.  I always felt I was with someone special on holiday; back home, it was more ho-hum due to work and other commitments.

On the other hand, one of my Tours of Europe alone had its points too.  The quality of the accommodation, the first class Eurail pass, the cuisine and the speed with which I got around, the meeting of lovely women at each place would never have happened if I’d been with a partner.  I don’t particularly want to sleep with a woman who’ll readily sleep with me [a la Groucho Marx?] but I do like to meet up with women, especially in France and as it turned out, in Finland.  Perhaps travelling alone costs 70% of travelling as a couple but you can make up the other 30% with a better class of travel.  On balance, I’d prefer to travel with a partner.

Skype

In the last week, two women have refused to use Skype with me, citing it as low class, something beneath them and this gets into the question of false constructs and wanton wastage.  One of them will only walk around in Prada shoes she bought in Italy, not a lesser make, which puts her ahead in the “I’m richer than you” battle with other women; the other says Skype is only used by “internet people”, whatever that means.

Both feel it’s better to throw money away on something unnecessary rather than economize in one area, in order to spend in another.  For example, my microphone and speakers are of better quality than my phone line and it is far more pleasant on the Mac to sit back and Skype, hands free.  The saved money could take them out for a sumptuous repast but no – they want the money thrown away so that they can say, “Look, we’re throwing money away – aren’t we classy?”

I’m not immune in some respects.  Going from Pattaya to Bangkok, I preferred to pay the extra for the Mercedes taxi, whereas there was a local taxi available for far less.  She saw that as wastage.

The first of these ladies, when I asked if she had Skype, answered, “There are better programmes than Skype.”  That was hardly the point.  I said OK, let’s do Sipgate, a German facility with crystal clear line.  No, that wasn’t the point.  The point was that the money had to be seen to be spent – it meant I cared more.

So, the result of the Skype impasse is that we are reduced to emailing whilst, at the same time, there is a lady in Russia and I able to talk to each other whenever we wish, for as long as we wish, with no fear of being “low class” and lots of good conversation, listening to each other’s human voice.

In terms of the theme of this post, that’s one of the dangers of travelling with a partner.

Filed under: Leisure, travel & sport