nourishing obscurity

Now cocooned away from the charms of  younger ladies, it’s maybe safe to come out and say what I really think of them.

The theme of this post is:

Why ageing men should neither go near, think of nor consider a younger woman.

A doctor friend of mine, my sailing partner, was 49 when he took on a 22 year old lady and as tends to happen, I got to speak with her.  She was clearly besotted with him and that in itself worried me.  He had a full length art photo on his working room/kitchen wall of a modestly angled yet naked female who looked years younger than she actually was and that worried me too.

They married and honeymooned in the States where she promptly met a younger American and the rest, as they say, was history.  Broken in spirit, he returned and was perhaps wiser for the venture.  Why did they break up?  Well, some of the reasons are in an article I saw, by a 50 year old woman who was clearly setting out the stall of a 50 year old woman.

A 50 year old woman is a concept I still need to learn but whether I’d be mature enough to take that on, I’m not sure, let alone what she would think.  She listed the reasons it’s not on with a younger woman as:

1. Fantasy love fades. Usually within a year. Substance remains.

2. Geezers may feel younger, but dating younger women won’t make them younger. Wrinkles remain, as do pot bellies.

3. Older men and younger women use each other, similar to a business arrangement. She’ll break the lease first and fast.

4. OK, maybe she’s not using him. But do you see younger women with destitute older men? [Mine did for quite some time.]

5. Different energy levels. He’s ready for bed when she’s heading for the club. [This was always my problem, since I was 20.]

6. Different maturity levels. [In my case, my lack of maturity matched her lack of maturity.]

7. Common goals and interests. [True - I got sick to death of shops and she got sick of cafes.]

8. Lifestyles differ. [Surely that can be at any age.]

9. Stand by your man? Better chance the older the woman is. [Sadly, that's true.  Fidelity is not written on the forehead of a group oriented younger female.]

10. Health issues. [Yep, that's so.  I was at my peak in my late 40s, much stronger and fitter than earlier but it does dip off sharply after that.  Then come the niggly little health things and if they leave you alone, then dental issues don't.]

I’d like to add these to her list:

11. What does she really want from him?  What does he want? Even now, I don’t know.  For what it’s worth, my experience of these things was that those who’d zero in on me would probably have been looking at the main material chance and that was confirmed by a young lady, a friend of mine who told me that girls of that age only wanted one thing.  Now, with all the ego in the world, I was sure she didn’t mean sex.

On the other hand, if it was a mutual thing which had just happened and we’d found ourselves sitting at that table, then my thought was that she was either intrigued and wanted to see what made me tick or else she’d done a quick calculation that there might be possibilities here or a bit of both.  For my part, I confess I never thought it through.  Something in her just triggered it off and it was only through sitting at that table that both could sit back and assess the situation better.

What about coming on to her?  Only an idiot would see that as anything but counterproductive.  Hell, any woman can tell you that.  The less interest you show, the more interest there is.

12. The mathematics of age. First there’s the half the age plus seven years rule.  Then real life:

My friend over in Russia told me why he only looked at women in their mid to late 30s.   If you’re prepared to give her a child and stay with her forever, which is what a young woman usually wants, particularly towards the end of the 20s, then why would you want that hassle all over again?  If you’re not prepared to do that for her though, if you want a girl under 30 just for sex, you should be ashamed.

I always thought that good advice and more than that, look at the maths.  If he’s 40, then when their kid is 10 and needs a father to run around with him and take him everywhere, the father is 52.  Well, that’s still OK – just.  If he’s 50 when the baby’s born, then he’ll be 62 rolling round on the floor playfighting with his son.  Hmmm.  When the boy gets to 16 or 17, when fathers and sons should have a strong sporting bond, then the father is close to 70.

13. Ego. I’ve seen it in fellow males too many times and turned that back on myself.  Is it to prove to yourself that you can still cut it?   A 45 year old cannot cut it like a 25 year old, I don’t care what you say. He might manage three times for three nights but after that he’s knackered [excuse the expression].  And she needs him to be on call at any time – in phone boxes, in aeroplane toilets, wherever the fancy takes them.  If he can’t cut it then he’s cheating her, shortchanging her.

14. Porn. IMHO, no man should look at young girl porn.  Think it through.  It gets you wanting something you can never have and that only causes frustration.  Assuming you’re not one of “those”, then what’s the point of that self-torture?  It’s unhealthy for your psyche but it’s also not too good for her.

Every porn picture of a young girl you look at, some organization got her there to do that and that might have been your daughter.  How do you know she doesn’t slip out at lunch time and make some money on the side for all those purchases girls feel they need to make?

It’s a no win situation for either party and think of the money being made.  Think of the culture being maintained, feeding on our children, as the majority of men succumb.

Last thoughts

So, being serious, what is a man to do with all these restrictions placed on him?  If you’re not a rapist and you don’t particularly fancy Mrs. Palm and you don’t have a wife or not-wife to take care of it and you don’t want to do anything people are going to see as sleazy, then the only way is to go the companionship route.

Anything to keep the mind off that which we shouldn’t be thinking about.

Filed under: Society & human issues